Today I’m wondering what the heck is going on. I mean, how did you change humanity? On my tombstone what words to say? ‘He was a good man gone bad.’ I’m going to be cremated so no words necessary. “No one cares who a person is. No one cares that this person is me.”[i] A feeling I wrote a long time ago. Is it true? People say we are one but it doesn’t feel that way. It feels kind of lonely. To complicate matters, a cop kills a black man for committing a minor crime because he allegedly resisted arrest. This triggers mass demonstrations while a pandemic is going on. I can’t seem to get my head around it; thousands and thousands of people demonstrating arm in arm shoulder to shoulder while a pandemic is going on. Crazy times and I remain optimistic. I have too for my sanity. I feel like butting my head against a wall, screaming “come visit me.” “So how is today different than yesterday?” A question I heard on TV. New York is opening up today; people going back to work; demonstrators around the world demanding justice and equality. I’m more dead than alive. My friend Mike who prematurely died used to say, “We’re in the fourth quarter on the five-yard line.” I’m seventy-five, seen a lot of stuff. For me, this is just one more hurdle to jump over. I’ve gone to jail for three years, so living through a pandemic quarantined in my home is more like a vacation than a prison sentence.

No knock warrants
Choke holds
Federal stings
Draconian laws
Take back power
Drain the swamp
Justice in the eye of the beholder
Freedom is a lie
Ain’t got no time to change the universe
Ain’t got no time to change me
Defund the police
Live in anarchy
Don’t watch TV

Commercials are killing me. Commercials are designed to torture you, especially when quarantined. I know people are making money and that justifies everything but the same content over and over drives me crazy. It feels like I’m being tortured; then stop watching TV. What an absurd idea-stop watching TV.

George Floyd the man the cop killed is a martyr. What is a lynching? Who is a martyr? We are a nation of definitions. Is George Floyd a martyr? Was he lynched? Does it matter? More questions than answers. Murder is a legal term-was George Floyd murdered? We know he died and the cop’s actions contributed to his death. Did the cop’s actions cause his death? But for his actions, would George Floyd be alive?

Once the protests die down the pandemic begins. “What have you done lately to stop the spread of the disease?” “Nothing except developing a vaccine,” the president said. “There’s no organized federal response to stop the spread of this disease?” “That’s right,” said the president, “it’s up to the states, not the federal government.” “But the economy is opening up and people are going back to work, aren’t you worried not enough is being done?” “No, everything is fine.”

Don’t worry about a thing
‘Cause every little thing gonna’ be alright[ii]
If an old man stay at home
If young have some fun
Don’t worry about a thing
Cause every little thing gonna be alright
When protests end the pandemic begins

[i] Ideas of the Heart redux pg. 1
[ii] Bob Marley, Three little birds

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